Favorite Things Thursday: Smokin'

I want to tell you about my new favorite weekend past time.

But first, a confession.

Sometimes blogging is a bit of a drag.  I love this blog.  I started it for me, but there is a LOT of pressure to get a million hits a month and make money off of this damn thing.  And I think you can tell from my last few whiny posts, I don't have time or energy for that!  I would love to hear from some of you who blog for fun about how you deal with the stress, or whether you care about statistics and/or pleasing the masses at all!

Alright, enough of that.

New favorite thing:

No, not fire (per se) but using the hell out of the grill.  But not grilling, either!

Smoking!  That's right, I'm a smoker.  And I'm not ashamed to admit it.  Smoking meat is my new favorite thing to do on the weekends, and the rewards are sweet.

This is my grill/smoker/everything:

And I love it.  I can toss some veggies on the left, and smoke meat on the right.  And, keep in mind, I lay in the pool and read a book when I'm not tending the food.  It doesn't suck.

I have now smoked and shredded multiple pork picnics (after rubbing them with a combination of cayenne, salt, and pepper), and then doused them with barbeque sauce.  It's a feast for the senses.  Really.

Rest-assured more smoking recipes will be coming.  And for those of you who like details - it takes about 12 hours, at 250 degrees, to smoke a 12 pound pork picnic (bone-in) with applewood chips.  You can thank me later.

Easy Grilled Ribs

The H told me, many months ago, that he wasn't a fan of barbeque.  If I remember correctly, it went something like this:

Me:  I could really go for some ribs.  Or a pulled pork sandwich.  Or a half a chicken.  With barbeque sauce, obviously.  And cornbread.

H:  Huh?

Me:  Don't you ever get cravings for barbeque?

H:  No.  I don't really like barbeque.

Me:  . . . .

That ellipses is there because I passed out.  Who doesn't like barbeque?  Or, more accurately, what person who was born and raised in Iowa and lives for meat and potatoes doesn't like barbeque?  What kind of world do we live in?!

And then we went to Sonny's and the H changed his mind and we lived happily ever after.

Which is all true, but not where this story ends because this is a FOOD blog and I'm supposed to deliver food-related content, not just complain about what a goofy weirdo the H is.  I get it (and he is).  So I made ribs at home for you, peeps.  And damn, were they good.

I covered a cookie sheet with foil and slapped (is there any other way?) my ribs onto it, bone-side down (I used about 2 pounds of baby backs for the two of us).  I seasoned the ribs with lots of salt and pepper, then slathered on my favorite barbeque sauce (Sweet Baby Ray's, but with added onions, tobasco, and garlic).  I  baked them, loosely covered, at 350 degrees for an hour and a half.

Then they got thrown onto a grill preheated to medium high, for about 3 minutes a side.  I assure you, you won't be disappointed.  Unless you have a husband who doesn't like barbeque, in which case I'm sure you're disappointed on a number of levels right now, and this post is just rubbing it in.

I'm sorry.

But I'm not sorry about these.

Enzo Angiolini via Nordstrom

Are they boring?  Sure.  Are they basic?  Absolutely.  Are they the perfect librarian pump?  YES.

I shall wear them while reading and eating ribs.

Remembering Easter: The Ham

Does anybody remember that little holiday, Easter, that happened so many months ago?  I can't believe I still have recipes to share from our Easter feast, but I do!  The damn wedding just got in the way.

So, basically, I bought an 8 pound spiral-sliced, pre-cooked ham for Easter.  I rubbed it down with salt, pepper, and rosemary, and let it sit while I prepared a glaze.  The glaze (which didn't photograph well) contained a couple of cups of dry white wine, about 1/4 cup of honey, and a Tablespoon of mustard.  I simmered that for about half an hour until it reduced by half.

I baked the ham, covered, at 300 degrees for one hour, then reduced the heat to 200 degrees and let it bake for another two hours.  Every 15 minutes, for the entire 3 hours, I opened that bad boy up and poured glaze over the top of it.  And lemme tell you, it was the most tender, delicious ham I've ever had.  The H (then-F) loved it, and he hates ham.

The H would also hate these:

B Brian Atwood via Saks

But I kind of feel like they're Easter on your feet.  And as only someone who is currently wearing bright pink shoes can attest, that is never a bad thing.

Chickpea Sausage Soup

As a lover of garbanzos (both the word AND the bean), I am constantly on the lookout for recipes that employ this tasty (and cheap) ingredient.

I am also very aware of the fact that the best garbanzo is a shelled garbanzo.  Time-consuming?  Yes.  Worth it?  Absolutely.  When blended, the lack of shells makes them much more creamy.

I used this recipe from The New York Time's Diner's Journal with great success.  I also took the time to grill my sausage, which I think added a nice added flavor.

The final result was creamy, flavorful, and filling.  It didn't look a bit like the NYT photo, but I'm going to go ahead and guess that mine was superior.  Obviously.

The subtle complexity of a chickpea and sausage soup calls for, what else, Valentino.

via Neiman Marcus

I love that, from afar, these Rockstud pumps look like classic snakeskin pumps, but up close the studs really shine.  The PVC "collar" doesn't hurt, either.

Two Bean Sausage Chili

So what do you think of the blog's facelift?  I would love to hear from my readers; I think it's much more true to my personal style (black!  simple!  black!) and allows the food to be more of the focus.  I'm also going to work on better-incorporating the shoes into the post, by picking shoes that relate to the recipe at hand.  Ready? 

Two Bean Sausage Chili

1 can black beans (drained and rinsed)
1 can great northern beans (drained and rinsed)
1 lb hot ground sausage, browned
1 bottle beer of your choosing (can be substituted with water)
1 can (8 oz) tomato sauce
2 cans diced tomatoes (I used "chili" tomatoes, that had chili powder added)
2 jalapenos, diced (seeds removed if you're afraid of the heat)
to taste:  white pepper, cayenne, salt, cumin, oregano, rosemary, chili powder, garlic

Dump EVERYTHING into the crockpot, turn the heat on low, and watch the magic happen!  Seriously, 6-7 hours on low (4-5 on high) and this chili will be ready for game day (Tuesday).

I top my chili with plenty of cheese and lots of finely-diced red onions.  Typically I add oyster crackers to the mix, as well, but we were fresh out and I didn't miss them.

Chili with a kick calls for shoes with a kick, don't you think?

Christian Louboutin via Barneys

If these don't fit the bill, I'm not sure there are a pair out there that do!

Spice-Rubbed Pork Skewers with Tomatoes

Full and up front disclosure:  this is not a dish that I will ever make again.  Not because it was bad (I loved it) but because it wasn't wildly popular with the F (his palate doesn't lean towards Asian food flavors) and I prefer to make crowd pleasers as opposed to crowd "meh's."

I will say, however, that this recipe was both easy and light, making it ideal for those who love pork, love to grill, and love soy sauce, tomatoes, and sesame oil.

The other bonus - this recipe was FAST.  The pork is sliced thin so it doesn't take long to cook, and you know it's time to eat when the tomatoes start to char and burst.

There are few things that I enjoy (produce-wise) as much as a tomato charred on the grill.  That is one thing that I will do again and again, even if this recipe never makes it back into the fold.

Another thing that I tend to do again and again, despite my better judgment, is go shopping-CRAZY at the Nordstrom pre-fall anniversary fashion insider (or whatever they call it) sale.  The store has areas tented off where only fancy customers (myself included) can shop, so I picked these up:

image via, at Nordstrom here

I don't have any shoes this color, nor do I have many ankle boots (only one pair, if you can believe it, and in black) so these had to come home with me.  The allure of the super secret special tent didn't hurt, though.

Crispy Grilled Porkchops

There are very few foods which the F does not enjoy.  Mushrooms come to mind, as do sauerkraut (which I understand) and porkchops.  Pork.  Who doesn't like pork?  The man loves bacon, a pork chop is just an adjacent piece of deliciousness on the meat-spectrum, as far as I'm concerned.

Because of this . . . quirk . . . I set out to make pork chops in the most F-friendly way possible:  breaded and fried (kind of like these).  Or, more accurately, lightly coated in egg whites, breaded in panko with a hint of Asiago cheese, and "fried" in a grill pan coated with zero-calorie cooking spray.

And they were a hit (alongside some crescent rolls).  At first the F didn't even realize they were pork and that, peeps, is when I knew I'd succeeded.  All hail the Cookin' in Heels kitchen and my ability to mask pork as chicken. 

Let's talk, now, about masking slippers as "real" shoes.

via Topshop

What do we think, peeps?  Can I get away with wearing these as real shoes?  Would they make my feet look awfully snappy at my upcoming librarians' conference?  Or would I look like a Hugh Hefner wannabe (minus the satin smoking jacket, obvs.  Nobody can pull that off like Mr. H.)? 

Quickie Friday: Another Stuffed Pork Loin

Another day, another stuffed pork loin.  This one came about because I had nothing in the fridge except spinach, the pork loin, and a couple of different kinds of cheese.

I pounded the pork loin out so that it was relatively thin, then spread it with a mixture of fat-free garlic cream cheese and ricotta, topped it with spinach, rolled it up, sprinkled some Italian seasoning on the whole thing, and baked it at 400 for about 40 minutes.  Not going to lie, it was a pretty good thrown-together meal.  I may have patted myself on the back when it was done (and by done I mean consumed with great speed and enthusiasm by both the F and myself).

Since I kind of (and only kind of!) broke the bank on the wedding shoes (which I know I've mentioned about a million times, but I love them so much I don't care) I'm looking into more cost-effective alternatives for my spring/summer shoe wardrobe.

via

I am LOVING the pop of color (POC!  Love me some Brad Goreski) on these bad boys, and the price is far from breaking the bank.  Perfect for summer!

Savory Breakfast Muffins

Let me reveal a little something about myself to you right now:  I am always . . . ALWAYS . . . on the search for delicious breakfast (or breakfast-adjacent) recipes.  When my current boss forwarded me this recipe for savory breakfast muffins, which she herself hadn't even tried, I knew I had to give them a whirl.

This is a serious muffin, in preparation, execution, and flavor.  I used a hot breakfast sausage but otherwise followed the directions to a T.  24 savory, delicious muffins later, I was sold.  And they freeze and are easily re-heated, thereby making them the perfect weekday breakfast (and would be even more perfect with some scrambled eggs).

Don't be fooled by this picture . . . my photography skills aren't getting any better.  The muffins ar just extremely photogenic.  And speaking of photogenic!

THAT is also a cute muffin.  My little love muffin.  Or snuggle muffin.  Or Arnie muffin (depending on my mood).

Remember, peeps, whe I was ranting and raving about how Mr. Brian Atwood should take time out of his busy schedule to make a pair of shoes that would be appropriate for my wedding?  Well, Mr. Jimmy Choo (or Ms. Tamara Mellon, or someone at the company) heard my cries and, lo and behold, I found these:

Jimmy Choo via Bergdorf Goodman

It is literally taking every ounce of my being, at this very moment, not to order these for my wedding.  Every.  Single.  Ounce.

Pepperoni-laced Lasagna

The F is on a constant quest for more pepperoni.  Not a meal goes by that I don't hear "you know what would be great with/on/in/alongside this?  Pepperoni."  I find it strange, yet endearing (which is one of the many reasons he's lucky to have me.  Obviously.).

In an effort to please, I used this recipe for a new spin on lasagna.  I should have been wary, having never sauted pepperoni before (the stench and leftover grease were APPALLING.  If there is such a thing as a lasagna-steam facial, I got one), but I set off to make this monstrosity nonetheless.

I am not going to mince words in this post, because it is VERY rare when I talk about how much I don't like something I've whipped up in the kitchen:  this lasagna was NO GOOD.  Perhaps more sauce would've made it better.  Or no pepperoni.  Or more pepperoni.  I have no idea. 

But as it was, neither the F nor I particularly cared for this recipe.  Maybe you wanna throw some pepperoni into your standard lasagna recipe, and that may be delicious.  But I wouldn't count on Guy's recipe, not at all.  (I should note, however, that apparently there's an ingredient error and the recipe should only call for one pound of lasagna noodles, not two.  That may have made all of the difference and I wish I had read the comments in advance!)

In the spirit of the upcoming holiday (and my upcoming trip to the arctic a/k/a Minnesota) and also of things that aren't what they seem, like the lasagna, I present to you these:

via

Not the typical shoe featured on this blog, amiright?  I ordered these because they are (1) faux-fur lined, (2) still heeled, and therefore sassy, and (3) weather resistant, because I know not what kind of inclement weather I will encounter in the tundra.  Also, comfortable!  Quite the combination.

Stuffed Pork Loin

I love stuffing things.  Turkey.  Chicken.  Pork loins.  My face with delicious food.  Stuffing is good.  This pork loin is no exception.

This pork loin is butterflied, then spread with pesto, spinach, and feta cheese.

Rolled up, secured with toothpicks, and topped with canned, fire-roasted tomatoes, then baked at 425 for 20 minutes, this recipe couldn't have been easier, or looked more fancy.

I served the pork loin on top of some garlic couscous, and it was SO GOOD.  I'm going to make the bold statement that this was my favorite stuffed dish EVER.  That's huge.

These are also huge (and by huge I mean tall?  high?  both?):

Proenza Schouler via Barneys

Those ankle straps are pretty intense.  And with as much as I love PS and all that they do, these look a little like stripper shoes.

I can't believe I just said wrote that.

Spicy, Roasted Red Pepper Pork Chops

Because the BF is not a big fan of pork (and I am), I have to find a way to dress it up (while still keeping it within the weekday diet).  This recipe (from Cooking Light Fresh Food Fast: Over 280 Incredibly Flavorful 5-Ingredient 15-Minute Recipes, of course) was quick and easy, and fit the bill for both pleasing the BF and fitting into the diet.

Prior to grilling, the pork chops were sprinkled with a little Montreal steak seasoning (I used McCormick) and the sauce is made of roasted red peppers, adobo chilies, and some seasonings.  I added more of the chilies for an extra kick.

I made a little bit of extra sauce, and it went a long way.  The BF even took the leftovers for lunch the next day (and told me it was even spicier on day two, so that's something to keep in mind)!

Despite the fact that this country is experiencing a serious heat wave, I have fall shoes on my mind.

Elie Tahari via Neiman Marcus

The nude-colored suede and cutouts make these just about perfect, and they'd be a great summer-to-fall transitional shoe to add to my wardrobe (not that we have much of that, in Florida)!

Brown Sugar Glazed Pork Chops

Happy Wednesday, peeps!  Today I bring you a quick and easy pork chop recipe that is sure to delight your taste buds (I don't really know that, for sure, but it did delight my taste buds so I'm making an educated guess).

I have no idea where I got this recipe (I have stacks and stacks of recipes laying around the Cookin' in Heels casa) but I believe it went something like this:  combine 2 tablespoons of brown sugar with 1/2 teaspoon cumin, 1/4 teaspoon salt, and 1/4 teaspoon pepper (I used white pepper) and then add olive oil until you have a thick glaze, and coat pork loin chops on both sides.

Then grill!  See how easy, peeps?!  And do you see how the combination of sweet and savory will dance on your tongue like fairies dancing in the moonlight?  No?  Ok.

You may not get the fairies in relation to porkchops analogy, but how about fairies to shoes:

Manolo Blahnik via Barneys

Dancing in the moonlight?  No?  Kickin' your heels down a yellow brick road, maybe?  Still no?  I give up.

Knockoff Nachos

Because I know that a lot of my readers live near Old Chicago (or near Chicago, itself . . . hey guys up north!) they will (I think) know how happy the BF and I were when we discovered an Old Chicago in Brandon, FL, about 20 minutes away.  They will also, then, know how devastated we were to learn that the Old Chicago in Brandon, FL (and the ONLY one in Florida, by the way) closed at the end of last year.  Insert (the BF's) tears.

Old Chicago makes some absolutely bitchin' Italian nachos.  And since we can't get the real thing in these parts anymore, I thought I would try and recreate them last weekend, when the BF's sister was in town (HI!).

I purchased what ended up being an excessive amount of wonton wrappers, and used about 1/20th of what I bought, and deep fried them for 2 minutes per side, in vegetable oil, then drained them in a colander over paper towels.

I layered the deep fried wontons in a 9x13 baking dish with browned Italian sausage, pepperonis, slice pepperoncinis, and mozzarella cheese, and put them in the oven at 325 for 15 minutes, then under the broiler for about 5 minutes.  I served them with hot red pepper marinara and they were a hit!  (And for those of you wondering:  yes, they taste like the Old Chicago nachos and no, this isn't part of my "diet.")

While looking for shoes to fulfill my graduation requirements I came across these:

Brian Atwood via Saks.

While our "regalia instructions" indicate that dark shoes are best, I'm not a rule follower and I think these would look great 5'7" below my mortar board.